Yes, stress bragging is a thing. Here's why you should avoid it
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Ever find yourself boasting about all the many reasons you have to feel overwhelmed? Learn what stress bragging is, why you do it, and 5 actions you can do instead.
We all know that one person who’s always reminding us just how busy they are, how little they slept, and how many things they still have to do. It’s almost like they turn every conversation into a competition for who’s working the hardest, and it’s… a lot — to say the least.
This strange social habit of flexing your exhaustion is called stress bragging. It’s basically humblebrag’s grittier and more exhausted cousin, and it’s more harmful than you might think.
Many people think that stress bragging makes them look good, but research actually suggests the opposite: It can make you seem less competent. In addition, it can reinforce the very toxic idea that being on the verge of burnout is admirable and aspirational.
If you’re worried you stress brag and are ready to break this cycle, there are small steps you can take to shift your mindset. You can also learn to stress less — and that’s actually something to brag about.
What is stress bragging?
Stress bragging is what happens when “I’m so unbelievably busy” turns into your entire personality. It’s when you wear your exhaustion like a fancy label, slipping it into conversations as if being overwhelmed somehow makes you more important or more accomplished.
The tricky thing about stress bragging is that many people don’t realize that they’re doing it. Sometimes, it’s disguised as self-deprecation, like saying that you don’t remember what free time looks like or as subtle martyrdom like saying that you’d love to relax, but if you don’t do all your work, no one will.
These sneaky statements are really just a way of indirectly asking people to acknowledge your work, and while that’s natural, it’s not the healthiest way to get validation. Plus, it doesn’t usually make you feel any more accomplished. Instead, it just keeps you in a cycle of overwhelm.
If you’re wondering if stress bragging is a coping mechanism of yours, it may be time to take a step back and reassess. Taking pride in what you do is great, but when you start equating busyness with worthiness, you risk overextending yourself to the point of exhaustion.
6 reasons people stress brag
Why do so many people treat stress as a badge of honor? Cultural conditioning, bad habits, and insecurity all play a role.
1. Hustle culture brainwashing: Many people equate busyness with success. However, working yourself to the bone isn’t an achievement, it’s a problem.
2. Seeking validation: Instead of asking for direct support, stress bragging can be a way of getting people to acknowledge how hard you’re working. Of course you want credit for working hard, but this isn’t the way to get it.
3. Tying self-worth to productivity: You may have been led to believe that your value is tied to how much you do. It’s not. You have worth outside of your to-do list. You are more than your workload.
4. Bonding over shared misery: Turning stress into a competition might feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t help anyone. Being the person who complains the most about how exhausted they are is not exactly a prize worth fighting for.
5. Professional FOMO: Stress might feel like proof that you’re needed and important, but being constantly overwhelmed usually just means you need better boundaries.
6. You don’t know how to stop: For some people, stress is the default setting. Slowing down feels wrong, so they just keep piling on commitments, pushing through fatigue, and bragging about it.
Why stress bragging can affect your reputation
In the moment, stress bragging might feel like a way to prove how hard you work, but in reality, it can make you seem less in control and, honestly, less effective. When you’re regularly talking about how overwhelmed you are, people may start to wonder if you’re actually managing your workload well or if you’re just struggling to stay on top of your work.
If talking about how stressed you are is your go-to topic, it can be draining for everyone else around you. Plus, it may make conversations feel heavier than they need to be and create a work culture where exhaustion feels like the expectation.
Because if leaders and coworkers constantly talk about how overworked they are, it sets a tone that balance isn’t valued. This can then leave everyone feeling pressure to keep up, even when it’s not sustainable. On top of that, if you’re always signaling that you’re at full capacity, people could start to hesitate to bring you new opportunities because they don’t want to add to your already full plate.
Most importantly, stress bragging generally doesn’t actually make you look more successful. The people who are most respected in their fields usually aren’t the ones who talk the most about how busy they are, they’re the ones who know how to balance hard work with boundaries. In truth, real success is finding ways to do great work without running yourself ragged.
How to avoid stress bragging (and what to do instead)
Stress bragging can be a hard habit to break if it’s become your go-to coping mechanism, but with a little self-awareness and a shift in mindset, it’s possible to let it go.
Here are five ways you can avoid stress bragging and focus more on what actually matters.
1. Catch yourself in the act
Try to notice when and how you stress brag. The more you recognize the habit, the easier it can become to shift your response before it turns into a reflex. The next time you feel the urge to drop your stress levels into casual conversation, pause and ask yourself:
Am I looking for support, or am I looking to be validated?
Would I be saying this right now if I felt confident and a little more in control?
Does this actually make me feel good or does it just reinforce my stress?
💙 Listen to Awareness with Tamara Levitt if self-examination isn’t your strong suit.
2. Reframe the way you talk about stress
Constantly reinforcing your own exhaustion can sometimes only make you feel more tired. Instead of making stress the focus of your talks with other people, try to shift the way you talk about your workload.
Instead of: “I have an unbelievable amount of work to do, I’m drowning.”
Consider: “I have a lot on my plate, but I’m prioritizing what really matters and I’ll make it work.”
Instead of: “I got zero sleep last night because of all my work.”
Consider: “I’m starting to realize that I need to get better at shutting off work at night and really relaxing.”
💙 Reframe the Problem with Jay Shetty can be a great tool if you have a tendency to reinforce your own exhaustion by bragging about it.
3. Set (and enforce) better boundaries
People usually respect those who know their limits more than those who constantly work themselves to the bone. Overloading yourself and then broadcasting your exhaustion isn’t a badge of honor — it’s a sign that you need stronger boundaries. Here are some you could try implementing:
Practice saying no. You don’t have to take on everything just because you can. (If it’s not easy for you to say no, here are 30 ways examples to help.)
Stop glorifying overwork. Breaks usually make you more effective.
Protect your time by setting small boundaries, like not checking your emails once you get home or blocking off focus time in your calendar.
4. Celebrate balance, not burnout
Instead of competing over trying to be the most stressed, try to normalize feeling good, getting enough sleep, and taking breaks without guilt. It might feel weird at first, but it’ll start to feel normal over time. (Here are 20 ways you can take a mindful break if this isn’t your strong suit.)
Instead of: “I’m so depleted — I haven’t had a real break in weeks.”
Consider: “I took the weekend to recharge, and it honestly made such a big difference.”
5. Focus on solutions, not suffering
Most of the time, venting without action just keeps you stuck in stress mode. To help you regain control, try to focus on solutions. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out and ask for support or consider delegating some of your tasks. (Here are 12 other ways you can find relief if you’re feeling overwhelmed.)
Instead of: “I have so much to do, I don’t even know where to start.”
Consider: “I have a lot going on right now, so can we talk about what’s most urgent?”
Stress bragging FAQs
What does stress bragging mean?
Stress bragging is typically when someone casually flaunts how overwhelmed, overworked, or tired they are. They might humblebrag about their packed schedules, little sleep, and endless to-do lists.
People usually do this to really hammer home that their stress somehow proves their dedication, but it can actually make them seem disorganized.
Is bragging a coping mechanism?
For some people, stress bragging can be an indirect way of seeking validation. It can also be a way to bond with coworkers or friends.
Still, this isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, as it can reinforce the idea that being stressed is admirable. Instead of reducing stress, it can actually cause it to build.
How do I know if I’m stress bragging?
If you’re not sure if you’re stress bragging, try to pay attention to the language you use. If you’re venting because you genuinely need support, you probably just need to get your feelings out. This isn’t stress bragging.
Stress bragging occurs when you vent to make sure that other people know how much you’re juggling, how busy you are, or how tired you are.
What’s the difference between venting and stress-bragging?
For the most part, venting is about releasing frustration in a way that helps you process it. Stress bragging, on the other hand, is more performative. It’s usually about making sure other people see how much you’re struggling, often as a way to prove your worth.
In general, venting can lead to relief, whereas stress bragging usually just tends to keep you stuck in an endless loop of fatigue and outside validation.
Can stress-bragging cause me to burnout?
Constantly talking about how stressed and overextended you are—or stress bragging—can lead to burnout by reinforcing your negative feelings.
If you’re regularly stress bragging, you may start to believe that stress is just who you are. Over time, this can then make it harder for you to set boundaries and ask for help.
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