How to spot medical gaslighting (and 10 tips to self-advocate)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Do you feel like your doctor is dismissing your concerns? You could be dealing with medical gaslighting. Learn how to spot it, plus 10 tips for dealing with it.
Doctors are trained to listen, diagnose, and treat, but sometimes, they don’t. They might brush off a patient’s symptoms as stress or exhaustion or suggest they “just try to lose a little weight.”
There’s a term for this enraging experience: medical gaslighting.
Medical gaslighting occurs when doctors dismiss, minimize, or ignore symptoms, making patients feel like their concerns aren’t real and happens at a higher rate with women, people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, neurodivergent people, and those with chronic illnesses—feel like their concerns aren’t real.
This kind of experience can leave those who are in pain and seeking counsel feeling frustrated, angry, and invalidated.
This does happen, so if you feel your doctor brushed off your pain or wasn’t taking you seriously, you may not be imagining it
Here’s how to recognize medical gaslighting, why it happens, and—most importantly—how to advocate for yourself to get the care you deserve.
What is medical gaslighting?
Medical gaslighting happens when doctors don’t take a patient’s symptoms or concerns seriously.
It can sound like:
“You’re too young to be having that problem.”
“You just have a low pain tolerance.”
“It’s all in your head.”
“So many people your age deal with this. It’s normal.”
“You’re probably just stressed. Try to relax.”
“You might just need to lose 10 pounds.”
It’s important to note that a good doctor rules out common causes before jumping to worst-case scenarios. That’s not gaslighting. Gaslighting happens when a doctor refuses to investigate further, dismisses symptoms without testing, or implies you’re imagining things — even when you know something is wrong.
The consequences can be serious. As an example, many people who suffer from endometriosis wait a decade or so for a diagnosis due to medical gaslighting, leading to emotional exhaustion, mental health issues, and unnecessary pain.
Medical gaslighting isn’t just frustrating — it’s dangerous.
5+ reasons for medical gaslighting
Medical gaslighting is an issue, but it’s not necessarily due to malicious intent. The medical system is designed for speed, not deep conversations, which is probably why so many doctors interrupt patients within 11 seconds of them speaking. If your symptoms don’t fit neatly into a quick diagnosis, you might get brushed off simply because there’s no time to dig deeper.
But being overworked doesn’t excuse being dismissive. The pressure doctors face is just one piece of a much bigger issue. Medical gaslighting isn’t just about time constraints — it’s sometimes fueled by deeper, systemic biases that have been baked into healthcare for decades.
Racial bias still leads to people of color, especially Black patients, having their pain and symptoms dismissed.
Gender bias means women are more likely to have their concerns labeled as “stress” or “hormonal.”
Medical research gaps mean women and minority groups are still underrepresented in studies, leading to misdiagnoses.
Invisible illnesses—like autoimmune diseases and chronic pain conditions—often don’t show up on standard tests, leaving doctors to assume nothing’s wrong.
Weight bias leads to doctors blaming many symptoms on size instead of actually investigating the issue.
If you’ve ever felt dismissed, unheard, or like you had to fight just to get basic medical care, it may not be bad luck — it could be the system.
Who is most affected by medical gaslighting?
Medical gaslighting can happen to anyone, but it disproportionately affects certain groups. Women, people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, neurodivergent people, chronic illness patients, older adults, those with mental health histories, lower-income patients, and people in larger bodies all face higher rates of dismissal in healthcare.
Women
Women’s symptoms are often dismissed as stress, hormones, or anxiety, leading to delayed diagnoses and inadequate treatment — especially for conditions like heart disease, ADHD, and autoimmune disorders. Studies show that women wait longer for pain medication than men and are more likely to be told their symptoms are psychological rather than physical.
Historically, medical research has focused on men, leaving huge gaps in understanding women’s health. Conditions like endometriosis, PCOS, and perimenopause are routinely brushed off as “just part of being a woman,” forcing many to fight for years to get the care they need.
People of color (especially Black patients)
Black patients are less likely to have their pain taken seriously and are more likely to experience delayed or inadequate treatment. The false belief that Black people have a higher pain tolerance still influences medical decisions today.
Black women face even greater risks — they are three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications than white women due to medical neglect. Other people of color, including Hispanic, Indigenous, and Asian patients, also report frequent dismissal of pain and chronic illness symptoms, often worsened by language barriers and cultural biases.
LGBTQ+ individuals
Many LGBTQ+ patients face dismissal, discrimination, and a lack of proper medical knowledge from healthcare providers. Transgender and nonbinary patients, in particular, report that doctors frequently blame unrelated symptoms on hormone therapy or gender identity rather than treating the issue at hand.
Some LGBTQ+ individuals avoid seeking medical care altogether due to past experiences of mistreatment, increasing their risk of undiagnosed conditions. Finding an LGBTQ+-friendly doctor can make all the difference, but it often requires extra effort.
Neurodivergent individuals (ADHD, autism, etc.)
Medical systems are built for neurotypical patients, meaning autistic individuals and those with ADHD often struggle to get the care they need. Women with ADHD are frequently misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, and many autistic adults—especially women and people of color—go undiagnosed for years.
Sensory issues, executive dysfunction, and difficulty communicating symptoms can make medical appointments even more challenging. When neurodivergent patients struggle to express their pain in the “right” way, doctors may dismiss their concerns as overreactions or anxiety.
Patients with chronic (“invisible”) illnesses
If you’ve spent years bouncing between doctors, only to be told “everything looks normal,” you’re not alone. Conditions like fibromyalgia, Lyme disease, endometriosis, long COVID, and autoimmune disorders are often ignored or dismissed. Many of these conditions don’t always show up clearly on standard lab tests, leading some doctors to assume the symptoms aren’t real.
Chronic illness patients are frequently told their symptoms are “just stress” or “in their head,” forcing them to become their own medical detectives. Unfortunately, many people suffer for years before finally getting a diagnosis.
Older adults
Aging should not mean being ignored, but many older adults find their symptoms brushed off as “just getting older.” Severe fatigue, memory issues, and chronic pain often go untreated because doctors sometimes assume they’re just part of aging rather than indicators of an underlying condition.
In addition, women face increased medical gaslighting as they enter perimenopause and menopause. Hormonal changes can cause symptoms that impact everything from memory to heart health, yet some doctors just shrug it off as “the way things are.”
Patients with mental health histories
If you have a history of anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition, some doctors might blame new symptoms on mental illness rather than investigating further. Patients with past psychiatric diagnoses sometimes have to work harder to get medical attention because some doctors assume they’re overreacting or imagining symptoms.
This can be especially dangerous when physical conditions—like autoimmune diseases, heart conditions, or even cancer—are overlooked because a doctor assumes it’s “just anxiety.”
People with lower socioeconomic status
Healthcare in many places favors those who can afford better care. Patients with lower incomes often have less access to high-quality doctors, specialists, and second opinions. They’re also more likely to have their concerns dismissed, particularly if they rely on public health systems that are overburdened.
In addition, medical professionals sometimes wrongly assume that lower-income patients aren’t educated enough to understand their own health or don’t need as much care, leading to subpar treatment and delayed diagnoses.
People in larger bodies
Weight bias in medicine is rampant. Many patients are told to “just lose weight” instead of being properly evaluated. This leads to serious conditions being overlooked or diagnosed too late. Oftentimes, those in larger bodies are treated so poorly that their mental health suffers.
While weight can be a factor in health, it should not be the sole focus of treatment — thinner patients and overweight patients who have the same symptoms should receive the same workups and treatment.
8 ways to spot medical gaslighting
Medical gaslighting isn’t always obvious. It’s rare that a doctor would outright tell you that you’re imagining things (though it does happen). Instead, it’s often subtle and wrapped in condescending “reassurance” that leaves you feeling dismissed.
Here are the biggest red flags that your doctor isn’t taking your symptoms seriously:
1. Your symptoms are dismissed without proper testing: You describe real symptoms, but instead of ordering tests, your doctor blames stress, hormones, or anxiety. Maybe they say it’s “nothing to worry about” or promise to “keep an eye on it” without actually following up.
2. You feel rushed or unheard: If your doctor interrupts you, redirects the conversation, or seems distracted, they’re probably not listening closely enough. Feeling like you have to fight just to be heard isn’t normal.
3. Your pain is downplayed or ignored: Your doctor tells you that your (very real) pain isn’t a big deal. Maybe they say you have a “low pain tolerance” or tell you to “wait and see” instead of investigating further.
4. You’re told “it’s all in your head”: Of course your mental health matters, but it shouldn’t be a default explanation for every symptom. If this is what your doctor is doing, they’re likely dismissing your concerns.
5. Your symptoms are brushed off as “normal”: Common doesn’t mean normal. Intense period pain, extreme fatigue, or heart palpitations deserve more than a casual, “That happens sometimes.” (If you’re dealing with exhaustion right now, here are 10 tips that might help.)
6. Your concerns are blamed on weight: If every symptom you have is blamed on weight, you may be experiencing medical bias.
7. Your doctor refuses to refer you to a specialist: Some doctors resist second opinions, insisting a specialist isn’t necessary. If your symptoms persist, but your doctor won’t investigate further, they’re shutting down your options.
8. You have a gut feeling something is wrong, but your doctor won’t listen: Sometimes, you just know something isn’t right. If your symptoms are getting worse but your doctor insists it’s nothing, or if you keep leaving appointments feeling dismissed, trust your gut and seek out a second opinion.
How to advocate for yourself at the doctor: 10 tips for dealing with medical gaslighting
If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling dismissed or unheard, you know how frustrating medical gaslighting can be. But remember, you can always fight back.
You are the expert on your own body. You know when something feels off. And while it shouldn’t be your job to convince a doctor to take you seriously, the reality is that sometimes, self-advocacy is the only way to get the care you deserve.
Here’s how to push back, get answers, and make sure your health concerns are actually addressed.
1. Prepare for your appointment
Doctors are busy, and appointments are short, so don’t rely on memory alone. Before your visit, write down your symptoms, when they started, what makes them worse or better, and how they impact your daily life. If your symptoms have patterns—like worsening at certain times of the day or after specific activities—include that too.
Bringing a symptom journal, a list of medications, and any past test results can help keep the conversation focused. The more clear and specific you are, the harder it is for a doctor to dismiss you.
💙 If you’re struggling with pain, discomfort, or illness, Oren Jay Sofer’s 7 Days of Soothing Pain may be a balm.
2. Use clear, specific language
You don’t need a medical degree to advocate for yourself, but how you phrase things can make a difference. Instead of saying, “I just don’t feel right,” try something more specific, like:
“I have had severe fatigue for three months, and it’s affecting my ability to work and take care of my kids.”
“I am experiencing chest pain and shortness of breath multiple times a week, and it’s getting worse.”
Make it clear that your symptoms are disruptive, persistent, and not something you can just “wait out.”
Read more: How to speak up for yourself (and why it's important)
3. Ask direct questions
If your doctor is vague or dismissive, pin them down with specific questions. Some useful ones include:
“What else could be causing this?”
“What tests can we do to rule out serious conditions?”
“If this doesn’t improve, what’s the next step?”
If they try to rush past your concerns, calmly repeat your question. It’s your health — you deserve real answers.
4. Bring a witness
Doctors are less likely to dismiss you if someone else is in the room. If possible, bring a friend, partner, or family member to your appointment — especially if you’ve had a history of being brushed off.
Having someone else there to back you up can be helpful. They can remind you of key points, take notes, and even step in if the doctor starts dismissing your concerns. If you can’t bring someone, consider recording your visit (just check local laws first).
5. Don’t be afraid to push back
If a doctor dismisses your concerns without running tests or giving a valid reason, you have every right to challenge them. Try saying:
“I’d like that noted in my chart.”
“I understand you don’t think it’s serious, but I want a second opinion.”
“I am not comfortable leaving without a plan for further evaluation.”
You don’t have to be aggressive — just firm.
6. Seek a second (or third) opinion
If your gut is telling you something’s wrong, and your doctor won’t listen, find another doctor. Sometimes, getting the right diagnosis means seeing multiple doctors until someone takes you seriously.
If possible, look for a specialist instead of relying solely on a general practitioner. And don’t feel guilty about switching doctors — your health is more important than a doctor’s ego. If people-pleasing is an issue for you, learn how to stop with these 10 tips.
7. Find a doctor who actually listens
Most doctors are not dismissive, and you deserve one who respects you. Look for a provider who:
Listens without interrupting
Asks follow-up questions
Acknowledges when they don’t have all the answers
Is willing to run tests or refer you to a specialist
If you don’t feel heard, you’re in the wrong office.
8. Leverage patient resources
Many clinics and hospitals have patient advocates who can help if you feel mistreated. These professionals can guide you, act as a go-between for you and your doctor, and help you get the care you need. If you feel like you need this, don’t hesitate to take full advantage of these offerings.
If you’re paying for health insurance either through your taxes, insurance, or out of pocket, don’t forget you’re the customer and your healthcare provider is providing a service. Make sure you’re getting what you’re paying for.
9. Trust yourself
You know your body better than anyone. If something feels wrong, keep pushing until you get answers. Too many people go years—sometimes decades—without a proper diagnosis because they were gaslit into thinking their symptoms didn’t matter.
You are not overreacting. You are not imagining things. You are not being “difficult.” You are advocating for your health, and that is something worth fighting for.
💙 Tamara Levitt’s Relationship with Self series can help you strengthen your sense of self-trust.
10. Practice self-care after the appointment
Dealing with medical gaslighting can be emotionally exhausting. After your visit, take time to process how you’re feeling. Talk to a trusted friend or loved one about what happened. Remind yourself that your concerns are valid and that advocating for your health is worth the effort.
Read more: 20+ self-care practices to help you prioritize your wellbeing
Medical gaslighting FAQs
What's the difference between manipulation and gaslighting?
Manipulation is any behavior meant to control or deceive someone, while gaslighting specifically makes someone doubt their own reality. In medicine, this happens when doctors dismiss, minimize, or reframe symptoms in a way that makes patients question their own experiences.
A cautious doctor may say, “Your tests are normal, so let’s keep an eye on things.” That’s not gaslighting. But a doctor who says, “You’re overthinking this — it’s just anxiety,” without investigating further is. It invalidates the patient’s concerns instead of addressing them.
How can you tell if a doctor is gaslighting you?
The biggest sign of medical gaslighting is feeling dismissed or unheard. If your doctor routinely downplays your concerns, blames everything on stress, or refuses further testing despite worsening symptoms, that’s a red flag.
Another warning sign is being made to feel irrational for asking questions — as if advocating for your health is an overreaction. If you leave appointments feeling like something is wrong, trust your instincts. A good doctor listens and works with you. A gaslighting doctor makes you feel like you’re wasting their time.
What is an example of medical gaslighting?
A classic example is a woman experiencing chest pain being told she’s just anxious — only to later be diagnosed with a heart condition. This often happens because women’s symptoms are misattributed to stress, delaying proper treatment.
Another common scenario is a patient with chronic pain repeatedly told it’s “all in their head,” only to be diagnosed years later with an autoimmune disease. Many conditions don’t show up clearly on lab tests right away, but instead of investigating, doctors sometimes dismiss them altogether.
How do you approach a clinician whom you suspect is gaslighting you?
Stay firm, prepared, and direct. Bring a clear record of your symptoms, including when they started, how they affect your life, and any patterns you’ve noticed. If a doctor brushes you off, push back with questions like “What else could be causing this?” or “What tests can we run to rule out other conditions?”
If they refuse, ask them to document their refusal in your chart. Many doctors suddenly become more cooperative when they realize their decision will be on record. If they still won’t listen, seek a second opinion — you don’t have to stick with a doctor you don’t like.
What are the phrases to shut down gaslighting?
How you phrase things can shift the dynamic. To make doctors reconsider, try saying, “Can you document in my chart that you’re declining further testing?”
Another good one is, “I want to understand your reasoning. Are you saying my symptoms don’t warrant further investigation?” This forces them to justify their stance.
If they’re refusing referrals or tests, saying, “I’m not comfortable leaving without a plan for next steps” makes it clear that you expect follow-up care. And if they keep dismissing you, saying, “I would like a second opinion” lets them know you’re willing to take your concerns elsewhere.
There is no shame in advocating for yourself. You deserve proper care, and if you can’t get it from your current provider, file a complaint (if warranted) and go elsewhere. Take care of you.
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