Trying to conceive? 12 tips to keep your mental health intact
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
With all the questions, worries, and unknowns, your mental health can take a hit while trying to conceive. Explore 12 tips to stay grounded while on the road to parenthood.
You spend your entire life trying not to get pregnant, and the moment you decide you’re ready, a switch flips. For many women, trying to conceive can become a full-blown obsession.
While this time is undoubtedly exciting, it can also be overwhelming and emotionally draining. In addition to tracking ovulation and timing intercourse, you’re also managing silent expectations and coping with the creeping anxiety that shows up month after month.
It’s a heavy mental load that rarely gets acknowledged in the glossy social media pregnancy announcements — and this uncertainty can take a very real toll on your mental health.
While you might not be able to control the outcome every month, you can take care of your mind and heart along the way. By grounding yourself in tools that actually help, leaning into your community, and reminding yourself that your wellbeing matters, you can begin to feel more like yourself as you travel the road to baby. Here’s how.
Can stress and anxiety affect fertility?
There’s a lot of noise out there suggesting that stress can wreak havoc on your fertility, but turns out, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
It’s true that chronic stress can disrupt the hormonal signals that control ovulation, making cycles irregular, delaying ovulation, or making your period late (or early).
But—and this is a big but—stress is probably not the sole reason you’re not pregnant yet. Infertility is deeply complex, and boiling it down to “you’re just too stressed” is both inaccurate and insulting. If you’re trying to get pregnant and it hasn’t happened yet, it’s not your fault.
“Just relaxing” is not the solution and it’s also not possible for a lot of people. Every month is an emotional rollercoaster. You’re juggling doctor’s appointments, tracking ovulation, symptom-spotting at every turn, and pretending to be chill at brunch while silently calculating your luteal phase. That’s a lot. And your brain knows it.
So yes, managing stress can help support your overall health — and by extension, your fertility. But it’s not a cure-all. Try to give yourself a break.
If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or like you’re carrying way more than your fair share of the emotional load, know you’re not alone. There are ways to make this feel a little more bearable.
How to stay positive while trying to conceive: 12 tips to combine mindfulness and fertility
Staying positive while trying to conceive can feel impossible, especially if it’s taking longer than you expected or hoped.
The trick is to find small, sustainable ways to support your mental health, soothe your nervous system, and stay grounded — even when you get a BFN. These tips aren’t about forcing optimism, they’re about helping you feel more like you while you’re in the thick of it.
1. Embrace mindfulness — without making it a whole thing
Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean sitting cross-legged on a cushion while chanting.
It can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths before opening your fertility app (these seven exercises can help) or doing a five-minute guided meditation before you go to bed at night. Tiny pauses like this can gently regulate your nervous system, helping to quiet the anxiety spiral and bring you back to the present.
💙 If you’re new to meditation, Jeff Warren’s Mindfulness for Beginners is a good place to start.
2. Find your people and vent freely
This journey is too heavy to carry alone. Whether it’s a TTC support group, an online forum, or a trusted friend, having people you can be real with is everything.
Say the things you’re scared to say out loud. Cry. Laugh. Rant about your partner’s terrible timing. Connection is one of the most powerful tools for protecting your mental health and feeling less alone in this weird limbo.
(If opening up to others isn’t your strong suit, here are 15 ways to help build rapport.)
3. Set boundaries like a boss
If someone tells you to “just relax” or asks if you’re pregnant yet, feel free to put them in their place. Protect your peace by setting firm, clear boundaries. You don’t owe anyone anything. Come up with a go-to line like, “We’ll share news when we’re ready,” and repeat it like a mantra. Your journey, your rules.
4. Prioritize actual self-care, not the Instagram version
Do what you can to make yourself feel good. Maybe that’s ordering takeout because you’re too tired to cook, skipping a baby shower that feels too triggering, or going for a walk just to clear your head. Tune into what you need and go for it.
Need more self-care inspiration? These 20 ideas are a good place to start.
5. Educate yourself… and then walk away
Learning about your body and fertility can be empowering — and overwhelming. Set limits on how much time you spend researching, and give yourself permission to not know everything. Trust your doctor. Trust yourself. And sometimes, shut the laptop and go watch something funny on TV instead. Your brain deserves a break.
6. Communicate with your partner — yes, even when it’s awkward
Trying to conceive can put serious pressure on a relationship, especially when one person feels differently than the other about timelines or what to do next. Talk openly about how you’re feeling — even when it’s hard. You’re in this together, and honest conversations (plus a shared sense of humor) can help you feel more connected through the chaos.
Need to improve your communication? Here are a seven tips.
💙 Staying connected to your partner (and your loved ones) can help you feel less alone when you’re trying to conceive. Tamara Levitt’s Relationship with Others series is a great resource for building connections.
7. Build a “plan B” you’re actually excited about
Sometimes, the best way to release the grip trying to conceive has on your mental health is to remember that you’re allowed to imagine a good life either way. That doesn’t mean giving up. It means expanding your sense of possibility.
Maybe it’s planning a big trip next year, starting a creative project, or just allowing yourself to imagine joy outside of motherhood. Creating a “plan B” can be a rebellious, hopeful act — and it might just take some of the pressure off “plan A.”
8. Create rituals to mark time (instead of just cycles)
When you’re trying to get pregnant, it can feel like your entire life is split into two-week increments: waiting to ovulate, then the dreaded two-week wait. Time starts to feel like a loop you can’t escape.
Creating small rituals, like a Friday night pizza night or weekend hike, can help you reclaim your time. Plus, it’s great to build meaning outside of ovulation charts and pregnancy tests.
9. Celebrate your wins
You’re allowed to be proud of things that have nothing to do with your reproductive system. If you finally landed a promotion at work or nailed a tricky yoga pose for the first time, celebrate.
Trying to get pregnant can shrink your world, making everything feel like it hinges on a single outcome. Actively marking small victories reminds you that your life is full — regardless of whether or not you’re pregnant.
10. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad
Social media can be tricky when you’re going through an emotional time. Limit your time on those platforms and don’t hesitate to unfollow (or mute) accounts that make you feel bad.
Curating your digital space is self-protection, not pettiness. Follow people who validate your experience, make you laugh, or remind you that your worth isn’t tied to motherhood.
11. Try expressive outlets for your feelings
There’s a lot swirling in your brain when you’re trying to conceive — hope, grief, frustration, jealousy, rage. Get it all out. Write it down. Paint it. Scream-sing in the car. Talk to a voice memo like you’re the main character in a documentary. It doesn’t have to be pretty or productive, just real.
12. Know when it’s time to call in backup
There’s no gold star for struggling alone. If you’re feeling hopeless, constantly anxious, or like you can’t think about anything but trying to conceive, it might be time to reach out to a therapist — especially someone who specializes in fertility or reproductive mental health.
Don’t think about it as a last resort or giving in. This is your lifeline. It’s a place where you can say the quiet, scary parts out loud — and get real support for the weight you’re carrying.
Trying to conceive mental health FAQs
What does TTC mean?
TTC stands for “trying to conceive,” but if you’ve been in it for more than five minutes, you know it might as well stand for time to cry, totally tracking cycles, or truly too much cortisol. It’s the acronym used in fertility forums, social media, and medical spaces to describe the phase where you’re actively trying to get pregnant — which can range from casually tossing the birth control to full-on, science-backed, schedule-locked efforts.
For many, TTC becomes its own world, complete with its own language and rules.
How can I de-stress while trying to conceive?
De-stressing when you’re trying to conceive is less about fully relaxing, and more about carving out small, intentional moments that help your nervous system breathe. This looks different for everyone.
Some people need to just build in more self-care throughout their day, while others have to take an occasional break from trying. Anything that gives you a break from the mental hamster wheel counts. The goal isn’t calm perfection — it’s just less chaos.
Is it normal to have anxiety while trying to get pregnant?
Trying to conceive is filled with unknowns, high hopes, and the kind of pressure that builds quietly over time. Anxiety can creep in from all directions — fear of it “never happening,” obsessing over every symptom, comparing your journey to others’, and just the sheer emotional weight of waiting.
Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, and it definitely doesn’t make you weak. It just means you care. Still, it’s important to pay attention to that anxiety, because if it becomes overwhelming, you may want to consider talking to a therapist or a support group.
What are some TTC self-care tips?
Self-care when you’re trying to conceive may look like bubble baths and face masks, but more likely, it’s about creating little pockets of space where you get to matter, even in the middle of all the tracking and waiting.
You might consider journaling to release pent-up emotions, rage-cleaning your house, setting digital boundaries with fertility forums, or taking a month “off” from trying to reconnect with your partner or yourself. Maybe you’d focus on eating food that makes you feel nourished, getting enough sleep (or forgiving yourself when you don’t), and doing things that make you happy. You’re still you, and you still deserve care.
Can stress affect fertility?
Stress alone is unlikely to cause infertility, but chronic, unrelenting stress can impact your reproductive system in ways that might make conception a little more complicated. Stress affects the hypothalamus (the part of your brain that regulates hormones), which can throw off your cycle. But is stress the only reason you’re not expecting yet? It’s highly doubtful.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to eliminate stress entirely. It’s not possible. Really, you’re just looking to find ways to manage it.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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