10 tips to deal with the stresses of being a stay-at-home mom
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Being a stay-at-home mom can be fulfilling, but that doesn't mean it's not stressful. Explore 10 tips to help these moms contend with burnout, loneliness, and confidence.
It can be a deeply fulfilling experience to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). After all, you’re there for the first steps, the first words, and all the sweet moments in between. Of course, it can also be a relentless and isolating job with zero sick days, no pay, and a boss who loves to scream at you — multiple times a day.
It’s a role filled with love and purpose, but also exhaustion, loneliness, and the kind of burnout that makes you wonder when you last had an uninterrupted thought.
Making things even more complicated, society tends to idealize the SAHM life, so a lot of people don’t understand what you mean when you tell them just how stressful it is.
If you’re feeling isolated and overwhelmed by the impossible expectations that come with being a SAHM, there are ways you can cope. Here’s what you need to know so that you can manage a little easier.
Why being a stay-at-home mom can be so stressful
Being a stay-at-home mom can be stressful for a number of reasons. Some of these include:
You’re always on: There’s no lunch breaks, no PTO, and no weekends off. Even when you sit down, you’re mentally running through to-do lists.
It’s invisible work: No one sees the neverending demands, the emotional labor, and the invisible checklist in your head.
The emotional labor is nonstop: You are your kids’ emotional anchor and you teach them how to handle life while trying to manage your own emotions.
Loneliness can creep in: So often, you can be surrounded by kids but still feel totally alone.
Perfectionism can be overwhelming: Social media can make it seem like everyone else has organic snacks, perfectly spotless houses, and endless creativity, even though you know they don’t.
You may feel like you lose pieces of yourself: Your hobbies, goals, even your sense of humor can get lost in the grind. On your toughest days, it can be tough to remember who you are beyond “mom.”
There’s pressure to be “grateful”: Staying home can be seen as a privilege, but that also doesn’t make it easy, or mean that you can’t feel burnt out.
How to stress less while being a stay-at-home mom: 10 ways to deal
Unfortunately the chaos of stay-at-home motherhood isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. The laundry will always need to be done, there will always be errands to run, and someone will probably always need something right when you finally sit down.
But, there are ways though that you can make being a SAHM feel lighter. Here are 10 tips that can help you stress less.
1. Normalize your feelings
Being tired or occasionally fantasizing about running away to a quiet hotel with room service doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. As much as possible, try to let go of the guilt and start getting real about how you’re feeling.
Talk to a friend, a fellow mom, or a therapist to get out your emotions. Saying it out loud can make it all feel a little less heavy. You could also consider writing your feelings down if that feels good to you. (If you’re new to writing down your thoughts, here are seven tips to help get you started.)
Try to remind yourself that your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be heard.
2. Set boundaries
Boundaries can help give you some much-needed space to breathe. They also can be a great way for your kids to learn that mom needs a moment, and she also deserves some rest too.
To make it easy on yourself, start small. You could impose a rule that mom gets five minutes of quiet before lunch time or you could teach your toddler to wait until you’re done drinking your water before you play the fiftieth round of “pretend vet.”
3. Redefine self-care
When you’re a busy mom, self-care is about grabbing the small moments that are already there and claiming them as yours. Here are some creative ways to keep self-care in your life when you have no extra time:
Hide in the bathroom for two minutes of deep breathing.
Say no to that extra obligation that’s going to push you over the edge.
Order takeout instead of cooking another meal.
Listen to your favorite podcast while folding laundry.
4. Get outside
Sometimes, stepping outside is the quickest way to reset, so consider taking five minutes breaks to breathe in fresh air. You could also let your kids dig in the dirt while you stand in the sun like a human houseplant soaking up the good vibes.
Walking to the mailbox, sitting on the porch, and going for a stroller walk while listening to music that isn’t “Baby Shark” can also help to make you feel like yourself again.
💙 Consider listening to Mindful Walking with Tamara Levitt if you’d like to get your meditation on while out in nature.
5. Create connection in small ways
Motherhood can feel incredibly lonely, and while it might not be always easy to prioritize your social life, little moments of connection can be a lifeline.
If you’re looking to feel a little less alone, start small. You could text a friend, even if it’s just a meme and a “thinking of you.” You could also join a local playgroup or an online mom community. Scheduling a coffee catch-up, even if it’s over FaceTime while both of your kids scream in the background, can also be a way to help get more connection into your life.
Explore seven tips to help you get connected with other moms.
6. Let go of perfection
Real life’s messy. Sometimes the dishes are going to pile up and your kids are going to watch way too much TV because you just need to breathe — and that’s okay. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.
💙 Practice finding some Radical Loving Acceptance for the messy journey of parenthood in this session from the Ease Parenting Stress series with Jeff Warren
7. Ask for help
It may feel awkward to ask for help at first, but that’s much better than feeling burned out and exhausted. Talking to your partner, if you have one, is usually a good first step.
Try to be as clear and specific as possible. Instead of generally saying “I need more help,” try, “Can you take over bedtime on the weekdays so I can have some ‘me’ time?” or “Would you mind doing the grocery run this week?”
8. Have something that’s just yours
Motherhood can be all-consuming, but you are more than just a mom. You deserve to nurture the parts of yourself that have nothing to do with diaper changes or meal planning.
To help you feel more like yourself, try getting back to a hobby you used to do or binge-watching a show that you love. Whatever it is, make it sacred because you deserve something that’s just yours.
9. Check in with your body
Stress can take up residence in your body and make your shoulders tight and your breathing shallow. Try to take a moment to pause throughout your day and ask, “Where am I holding tension?”
Then stretch, shake it out, and breathe deeply. Even a few minutes of movement can help release that stress and help you feel a little more grounded.
If checking in with your body is new to you, check out this step-by-step guide to a body scan mediation.
10. Know when to call in the pros
If your feelings of stress, burnout, or loneliness start to feel too heavy to carry, it’s more than okay to seek professional help. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can help you to get by when it all gets to be too much.
You deserve to feel supported and asking for help is a sign of strength.
Stay at home mom tips FAQs
How can I handle feelings of loneliness as a stay-at-home mom?
Loneliness as a stay-at-home mom is a lot more common than most people think. You can be surrounded by kids all day and still feel disconnected.
Start by looking for small and realistic ways to connect with others. You could try reaching out to another mom for a casual chat or or showing up at a local playgroup, where half the moms are probably feeling just as isolated as you.
Small moments of connection, like talking with another mom or saying hi to a neighbor can make a difference. Also, try to remind yourself that connection doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful every single time. Sometimes it’s just about knowing that someone else is feeling the exact same way you do.
Can stay-at-home moms get burnout?
Stay-at-home moms are prime candidates for burnout. It’s emotional, physical, and mental labor, all rolled into one, and you don’t get to clock out or call in sick. When you’re constantly giving your time and energy to others, it’s easy to hit a wall.
Burnout can look like irritability, exhaustion, feeling detached from your role, and even a sense of dread at the thought of another day.
If you’re feeling burnout, try to carve out moments for rest. Reach out to your loved ones to ask for help or consider seeking professional support.
What are some quick stress-relief activities I can do during the day?
Because you most likely don’t have any spare time, here are some quick activities that can help reset you when you’re feeling stretched too thin:
Try stepping outside for five minutes to breathe deeply and reset.
Do a body scan meditation and release tension where you feel it in your body.
Put on your favorite song and have a little dance party in the living room.
Pause for three deep breaths.
Journal for five minutes (even if it’s just scribbling down frustrations).
Give yourself a sensory reset by splashing cold water on your face or grabbing a comforting snack.
How can stay-at-home moms take care of their mental health?
Taking care of your mental health as a stay-at-home mom is about layering small, consistent moments of care into your day. To help you squeeze in a little self-love, you could consider starting your morning with five minutes of deep breathing or ending your night by journaling what you’re grateful for.
Also, staying connected to your loved ones and other moms who get it can really make an impact on your mental health.
Sleeping when you can, drinking plenty of water, and eating food that makes you feel good also can be great ways to take care of your mental health.
How do I communicate with my partner about needing more support?
If you need more support from your partner, your best bet is to be direct and specific. You could say, “Can you take over bedtime on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can have some alone time?”
Timing matters, too. Choose a calm moment to talk. Explain not just what you need, but why you need it. Let your partner know that this isn’t about blame — you just want to be sure that you’re keeping the whole family healthy.
And if you’re met with resistance, remind them that asking for help is about creating a healthier environment for everyone. When you’re running on empty, it affects the whole household, and you deserve to feel supported.
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