17 tips all overwhelmed moms need to help them cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Motherhood is hard. Learn what to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and get 17 tips to find more balance. Plus, explore how you can help a mom who’s struggling.
Many people say that motherhood is one of the most important, wonderful, gratifying journeys they’ve ever taken — but also the most difficult.
There’s a reason for this: Motherhood is nonstop. It’s full of magical moments and incomprehensibly big love, but it’s also a relentless grind. Your kids don’t care if you’re sick, tired, or coming apart at the seams — they just want to know that you’re going to meet their needs.
You have an early meeting? They still need to be dropped off at school. You have an afternoon of appointments lined up? Don’t forget that they have extracurricular activities and homework, too. You’re hoping to squeeze in a date night with your partner? For that to happen, you have to line up childcare at the very least.
It’s a lot to balance — and, understandably, the constant pressure can be overwhelming. When these challenging times hit, it’s important to have some strategies at the ready to help you cope.
What does being an overwhelmed mom really look like? 5 symptoms
It’s easy to describe yourself as an “overwhelmed mom,” but that doesn’t quite encapsulate what’s going on.
It’s not just that you’re busy. It’s that you’re experiencing a deep, aching kind of tired that settles into your bones. You’re running on fumes, your patience is nonexistent, and your brain feels like a browser with too many tabs open and at least three playing music you can’t find.
Here are some signs that you’re an overwhelmed mom:
You’re quick to anger: You find yourself snapping at people for no reason.
You feel more emotional than normal: Do you find yourself sobbing at commercials? There might be more at play.
You’re not really present: You might feel like you’re going through the day on autopilot, only to lie in bed at night, replaying all the things you didn’t get done.
You feel on edge: You’re irritated, frustrated, and want to crawl out of your skin sometimes.
You really need time alone: You love your kids more than life itself — but also fantasize about checking into a hotel alone for a night.
Yes, you might be handling everything that life throws at you — but that doesn’t mean it's easy.
So if you’re feeling scattered, snappy, or like you’re barely hanging on by your topknot, you’re probably just a mom doing her very best in a system that never really made space for your needs. You deserve compassion, not criticism.
Why is motherhood so overwhelming?
Motherhood is overwhelming because you’re expected to do entirely too much with very little support. In addition to caring for your child, you may also be balancing a career, your personal relationships, and of course, your own mental health — and there’s not always enough time to do it all particularly well.
What exactly are moms juggling?
A massive mental load: You’re not just doing the things — you’re thinking about the things, planning the things, remembering the things. It’s exhausting.
Lack of support: Modern motherhood can be isolating. Many people are raising kids without the community support previous generations leaned on — and it shows.
Lack of time off: There’s no clocking out. This is a 24/7 gig. Even when your body stops, your brain doesn’t. You’re thinking about the pediatrician appointment, the school fundraiser, and whether you remembered to thaw the chicken. Taking time to care for yourself is often at the bottom of your to-do list.
So much invisible labor: Keeping up with birthdays, emotional check-ins, laundry logistics, and making sure the favorite sippy cup is clean — that’s all you.
So, take a breath. You’re not broken. You’re just doing the job of a full-time village with the emotional load of a therapist, the logistics of a project manager, and the stamina of a marathon runner. No wonder you’re tired.
17 tips for when you feel overwhelmed as a mom
Every mother feels overwhelmed at times, but with the right tools, you can learn to ride those waves. Here is a list of tips that can help you breathe easier in the middle of the mess, the meltdowns, and the moments where it feels like the wheels are coming off.
1. Lower the bar
If you’re trying to be the perfect mom, try your best to stop. Dinner doesn’t need sides, the laundry can stay unfolded, and your kids don’t need a craft that requires googly eyes and emotional stamina. Ask yourself, “What’s the simplest version of this?” Then go with that.
Try this: “Good enough is good enough” can be your new mantra.
2. Start your day with one grounding thing — just for you
Before the day starts pulling at you from every direction, do one thing that’s just yours. It doesn’t have to be profound. Sip your coffee while standing in the sunlight. Listen to a short meditation while brushing your teeth. Breathe deeply for 60 seconds before waking the kids. In fact, here are 10 types of breathing exercises to help you begin the day with yourself — not just chaos.
3. Create a bare minimum checklist
Some days, survival is the goal. Make a list of three things that you need to do: eat something nutritious, take your meds, and brush your teeth. Everything beyond that is a bonus.
It might even help to make a physical list. Seeing proof of accomplishment can feel like a psychological exhale.
4. Ask for help when you need it
If you’re lucky enough to have a robust support system, don’t hesitate to tap into it. Be specific about what you need. People want to help.
Say this:
“Can you grab milk while you’re at the store?”
“Would you take the kids for an hour so I can regroup?”
“I just need someone to listen, no fixing.”
You deserve support. Period.
5. Make peace with the mess
Nobody expects anyone’s home to look perfect, but if you have children, you’re officially off the hook. Pick one “sanity zone” (a clean-ish space where you can breathe) and give the rest permission to be imperfect.
Can’t leave well enough alone? Set a 5-minute timer and tackle the chaos until the buzzer. Then stop. That’s enough.
💙 This rule applies to self-criticism too. Mel Mah’s short Self-Acceptance routine can help you make peace with yourself.
6. Create a “boredom basket” for emergency decompression
Keep a stash of activities that don’t require you to entertain your children for 20 minutes. Coloring books, audiobooks, and reusable sticker scenes are all great for this. To keep it fresh without spending additional money, rotate the items weekly.
7. Drink water like your life depends on it (because it kinda does)
Hydration affects mood, energy, and focus. You might think you’re emotionally spiraling, but your body might just be parched. Keep a big water bottle in sight all day.
8. Use screen time as a tool, not a guilt trip
Talk to your doctor about how much screen time is right for your family, and then ditch the guilt. Screen time isn’t a failure — it’s a break. Use it with intention: for decompression, dinner prep, or a much-needed reset.
9. Find (or build) your mom crew
Loneliness fuels burnout. Even one text thread with moms who won’t judge you for feeding your kids chicken nuggets three nights in a row can be life-giving. Don’t have a crew? Start small.
DM someone you follow online and admire.
Invite another mom to walk after school drop-off.
Join a social media group for moms.
You don’t need a new best friend, just a buddy in the trenches.
10. Say no without a paragraph of guilt
You do not need a PowerPoint to justify protecting your peace. No is a complete sentence. If your schedule is full or your soul is stretched thin, say no and leave it there.
11. Make a “done” list instead of a to-do list
The to-do list will never end. Instead, try listing what you did accomplish today. You’ll be surprised how much you’ve actually carried.
12. Sneak in micro-rest
You may not get a nap, but you can rest in small ways. Let your body pause, even for 60 seconds.
Try this:
Sit with your eyes closed while the kids watch a show.
Lie down on the floor and breathe deeply while your children play.
Lean against the wall and feel your feet grounded.
These micro-moments are mini-reboots for your nervous system.
💙 Why not put on a relaxing soundscape to help yourself decompress? Rain on Leaves might be just what you need to feel calmer.
13. Automate, batch, or delegate as much as possible
Decision fatigue is real. Simplify where you can.
Try this:
Have the same meals weekly (think: Taco Tuesday).
Sign up for grocery delivery or pickup.
Delegate bath or bedtime to your partner if possible.
Batch lunches or snacks once for the week.
This isn’t about being efficient…it’s about reclaiming mental space.
14. Allow yourself to feel joy — even in the mess
You don’t have to “earn” joy by finishing your list. Joy belongs to you, too, right now, even with peanut butter in your hair. Do something tiny but delightful.
Try this:
Eat the fancy chocolate you hide from your kids.
Dance in the kitchen.
Scroll through memes that make you snort-laugh.
You deserve to smile.
15. Let one thing go every single day
There are days where you’ll totally nail it, but days where you won’t. You’re only human, and you can’t do it all. What’s one thing that you can drop today, guilt-free?
Try this:
Let your kids skip a bath (if they can).
Leave your dishes in the sink.
Don’t reply to that text right now.
Releasing one task a day is an act of rebellion against burnout.
16. Ground yourself when anxiety takes the wheel
When your brain’s spinning, get into your body. Try the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding technique by naming:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste or like about yourself
This brings you back here, where you’re safe and capable — even if you’re still surrounded by chaos.
17. Remind yourself that this season is not forever
This isn’t your forever. It’s your right now. The age, the noise, the clinginess — it all shifts. You are growing right alongside your kids. Let the hard moments pass without making them your identity.
Repeat this: “This is a moment, not my whole motherhood.”
How to support another mom who feels overwhelmed
We’ve all seen the mom at drop-off with tired eyes and a coffee the size of her head. The one who says, “I’m fine,” but you can tell she’s running on fumes. Maybe it’s your best friend. Maybe it’s you, too. Either way, when one mom starts to unravel, we all feel it.
You don’t have to be a therapist or swoop in with life-changing solutions. Often, what an overwhelmed mom needs most is someone to stand beside her in the mess, not pull her out of it.
Here’s how to help.
Check in without the pressure to respond
Sometimes, just knowing someone sees you is enough to exhale.
Text this:
“No need to reply, but I’m thinking of you!”
“Hey, how’s it going today?”
“You’re not alone. I’m here.”
That little nudge might be the only gentle thing she hears all day.
Offer specific help, not general offers
“Let me know if you need anything” is sweet, but it puts the burden back on her. Instead, offer something concrete.
Say this:
“Can I drop off coffee or lunch on Friday?”
“I’m going to the grocery store. What can I grab for you?”
“Want me to take the kids to the park for an hour so you can rest?”
Even small things, like folding laundry together while you talk, can feel huge.
Don’t try to fix it, just hold space
Moms are often venting, not crowdsourcing solutions. Listen without jumping in with “Well, have you tried…” or “At least…”
Try instead:
“That sounds so heavy.”
“I’m really sorry it’s this hard right now.”
“You’re doing more than anyone can see.”
Validation is more powerful than advice.
Normalize the mess
Remind her she’s not alone. Share your own messy moments. There’s healing in the unfiltered truth.
You might say something like, “Yesterday, I cried because I dropped a waffle. That’s where I’m at.”
This isn’t misery Olympics — it’s solidarity. Shame can’t survive when we tell the truth.
Be her buffer
Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is advocate for her behind the scenes.
Tell the group chat she’s offline for a bit.
Offer to coordinate the meal train.
Let family members know she’s not up for guests.
Being the “bad guy” on her behalf is a sacred kind of friendship.
Celebrate her, even in the mundane
Moms rarely hear “You’re doing amazing.” So say it. Text it. Yell it across the parking lot if you have to.
Say this:
“You kept everyone alive today. That’s legendary.”
“Your kids are lucky to have you.”
“You’re showing up, even tired — and that’s beautiful.”
We all need reminders that we matter beyond what we do.
Drop off love in a practical form
When words fall short, show up with snacks, dry shampoo, or her favorite coffee drink.
You might even consider leaving a voice memo telling her how much you care about her.
She doesn’t need solutions — she needs presence. Your presence.
Remind her that asking for help is not weakness — it’s wisdom
If she’s not okay but keeps saying she is, gently remind her that help is available. You might reach out with some kind and supportive words just to let her know you’re there.
Try this:
“You don’t have to carry this alone.”
“I’d be honored to help you, just like you would for me.”
“You’re allowed to need support. That doesn’t make you less, it makes you human.”
We all need someone to hold the mirror up when we can’t see our worth.
Overwhelmed mom FAQs
What causes overwhelm in moms?
Overwhelm in motherhood isn’t a personal flaw — it’s often the natural byproduct of an impossible load. Mothers are expected to constantly multitask, remember everything for everyone, and somehow, show up perfectly through it all.
Add in sleep deprivation, a lack of consistent support, and a culture that tells moms they should “enjoy every moment,” and you’ve got a perfect storm. It’s not that moms aren’t coping — it’s that they’re carrying way too much without enough hands (or help) to hold it.
What are signs that I might be experiencing mom burnout?
Burnout sneaks in slowly and can make itself known in subtle ways. Sometimes, it looks like snapping over spilled milk or feeling numb during bedtime stories. It’s the chronic exhaustion that doesn’t go away after a nap, the irritation that bubbles up even when you’re trying your best, and the overwhelming sense that you can’t ever catch up, let alone rest.
You might feel like you’re failing, but really, you’re just fried. Burnout isn’t about weakness — it’s about doing too much for too long without a break.
What’s the difference between normal stress and true overwhelm?
Stress is that temporary tension before a big meeting or the pre-dinner chaos when everyone’s hungry and cranky. It passes.
Overwhelm, on the other hand, is when that feeling becomes your baseline — when your body is buzzing and you’re constantly on edge. Everything feels like too much, all the time, and you start to wonder if you’re just not cut out for this. (You are.)
How can I help a mom who is overwhelmed but won’t ask for help?
The key is to offer help without putting more decision-making on her plate. Don’t wait for her to ask. She might be too depleted or too ashamed to admit she’s drowning. Instead, offer something small, tangible, and specific, like dropping off a meal or picking up her kid from practice.
Remind her that everyone needs help sometimes, and above all, just show up. Even if she resists or downplays it, your presence signals that she doesn’t have to do this alone.
What should I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed as a mom?
Pause. Take one deep breath, then another. Name what you’re feeling without judgment. Then ask yourself: What’s the next doable thing? Maybe it’s texting a friend, drinking a glass of water, or putting the baby in the crib for five minutes while you regroup.
You don’t need to solve everything — you just need to move gently through this moment. If the feelings persist, talk to someone. You deserve support as much as your kids do.
Is it okay not to enjoy motherhood all the time?
It is 100% okay not to enjoy every second of motherhood. In fact, it’s normal. Nobody enjoys every second of every activity all the time.
There will be beautiful, heart-melting moments — but also rage, boredom, grief, and the occasional desire to run away. None of that makes you a bad mom. It makes you a real one.
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