How to know if you're facing mom burnout (and 16 tips to cope)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Do you think you're battling mom burnout? Learn the symptoms to look out for and get 16 tips to help you recover and prevent burnout from happening in the future.
Motherhood is the ultimate paradox. You love your kids and are so grateful to be a mom — but constantly being needed can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Picking up your kids from the schoolbus might be the highlight of your day, but that doesn’t mean that the work piling up at home isn’t also stressing you out. Cuddling with your child in the morning is wonderful, but simultaneously, you might be calculating how many minutes you can spare before you’re all going to be running late.
A single day might consist of pickups, dropoffs, teacher meetings, homework help, and meal prep — on top of everything else. It’s just too much.
If you’re running on fumes, snapping over spilled cereal, and wondering what happened to your life, there's nothing wrong with you. You just might be in the thick of mom burnout.
Burnout doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. It means you’ve been carrying too much for too long, without the support you deserve.
So, let’s take stock of what you’re feeling, learn the signs of burnout, and—most importantly—dig into some realistic, doable ways to feel a little more human.
Why does burnout happen in moms?
Burnout is what happens when the mental, emotional, and physical toll of motherhood goes unchecked for too long. And in today’s world, that’s not just common—it’s practically baked into the job. You’re expected to do everything for everyone—and with a smile on your face.
Here’s why mom burnout is hitting so hard (and so often):
The invisible workload is very real: You know that mental checklist running on loop in your head? That’s called invisible labor, and moms are often conditioned to do the majority of it. You’re not just keeping your kids alive and healthy, you’re also meal planning, keeping track of everyone’s appointments, and making sure that no one forgets “pajama day.” (If you’re overwhelmed by the mental load of motherhood, here are 10 tips that can help.)
Rest feels like rebellion: More often than not, moms are praised for sacrificing themselves, not for setting boundaries. When you do take a break, you might feel guilty or even lazy.
Isolation is sneaky: Motherhood can feel shockingly lonely, especially in the early years or if you’re doing this without a strong village. Social media can make you feel even worse. (Learn more about why joining a mom group can boost your mental health here.)
We’re still people, not robots: Moms have needs, but they tend to come last. Not feeling well? Having a bad day? Wishing you could nap? Your kids still expect you to care for them first.
Mom burnout doesn’t happen because you’re weak. It happens because the expectations are too high and the support is often nonexistent. The first step to feeling better is calling out what’s going on.
What does mom burnout look like? 5 symptoms
Burnout creeps in quietly, but over time, the wear and tear becomes impossible to ignore. If you’re feeling like a shell of your former self or like you’re constantly one snack request away from a meltdown, these signs might feel painfully familiar.
Here’s what mom burnout can actually look like:
Chronic exhaustion: You’re not just tired. This is exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. You feel wiped the moment you wake up, slog through the day in survival mode, and wonder how people have the energy to do anything for fun.
Irritability and angry outbursts: You find yourself snapping over the smallest things — like your kid asking for a different color cup or your partner breathing too loud. You’re not angry for no reason. You’re depleted.
Emotional numbness or detachment: You’re going through the motions but not really feeling any of it. The things that used to bring joy or connection barely register now. You might even feel disconnected from your loved ones and then immediately spiral into guilt for it.
Brain fog and forgetfulness: What were you just saying? Why did you walk into this room? Where are your keys? Burnout messes with your memory and focus in a major way. It’s not that you’re flaky — you’re maxed out.
Physical symptoms that no one warned you about: Your body is smart and will start waving red flags when your brain is too busy to notice. Headaches, muscle tension, gut issues, insomnia — burnout shows up everywhere.
If any of this sounds familiar, know you’re not alone. Fortunately, there are things you can do to feel better. Remember, you don’t have to keep pushing. You get to pause.
How to recover from (and prevent) mom burnout: 16 tips to help you cope
Recovery from mom burnout means making tiny choices to care for yourself more often — because you matter. Here are some real ways to feel like a human again, one manageable moment at a time.
1. Lower your standards
Tell yourself, “Good enough is good enough.” The house doesn’t need to be spotless. The snacks don’t need to be organic. Chicken nuggets are fine for dinner on occasion. Focus on survival-mode essentials—food, love, a functioning toilet—and let the rest go.
💙 Explore your relationship with Perfectionism in Tamara Levitt’s Relationship with Self series.
2. Redefine rest
You may not get a nap, but you can rest. This can look like scrolling with zero purpose, hiding in the laundry room for three minutes, or lying flat on the floor while you breathe deeply. Give your brain micro-pauses throughout the day. Your nervous system will thank you.
3. Delegate like a boss
You are not the only capable person in the house. Kids can (and should) help, even if they’re small. Assign laundry sorting, toy pickup, or snack prep. Ask your partner to take over bath time (and let them do it the way they want to). Let go of the perfect outcome to reclaim your energy.
4. Outsource where you can
Not everyone has the budget for a house cleaner or meal service, but if you do, use it without guilt. Outsourcing can also mean leaning on school lunch programs, rotating babysitting with other parents, or using a laundry service once a month. Every bit of load-lightening counts.
5. Set a screen-time strategy
Some parents prefer not to let their children watch TV, but if you do, create a guilt-free screen-time routine that buys you some breathing room. Even an eight-minute episode of “Bluey” can buy you some time to sip a hot cup of coffee while scrolling on your phone. That’s self-care.
6. Eat like someone who deserves energy
A lot of parents subsist on the scraps their children don’t eat. (So. Many. Pizza. Crusts.) And while every meal doesn’t need to include representatives from each food group, regular meals with protein and fiber go a long way. Also, keep emergency snacks (trail mix, protein bars, bananas, cheese sticks) stashed for when life gets in the way.
💙 Food can have a big impact on how you feel. Learn more in Dr. Michelle May’s Mindful Eating class.
7. Create a “mom alone time” signal
Pick a hat, sign, or phrase that tells your household, “Mom’s off duty for 10 minutes.” Even if it starts as a joke, keep reinforcing it. The more consistent you are, the more it becomes a boundary everyone can recognize.
8. Reconnect with one tiny pleasure daily
What lights you up, even a little? A trashy show, blasting music from high school, hand lotion that smells like vanilla? Make a list of tiny joys and pick one to do on purpose each day. Five minutes of something just for you is powerful medicine.
9. Move your body
Hitting the gym is great, but even a little bit of movement can help you feel better. Stretch your arms overhead. Walk around the block with a podcast. Dance while cooking dinner. Movement regulates stress hormones and helps release frustration. It doesn’t need to be structured. It just needs to happen.
10. Get out of the house (even if it’s just the front porch)
Staying cooped up all day can make you stir crazy. Get outside. Walk barefoot on grass. Let the sun hit your face. Take a lap around your building. Nature can help calm frazzled nervous systems, and the fresh air isn’t just for the kids.
11. Name what you’re feeling
Burnout often shows up as “rage” or “I don’t care anymore” energy. Pause. Name it. “I’m overwhelmed,” “I feel invisible,” “I need help.” Examining your feelings out loud takes away some of their power and creates space for self-compassion. And if anger is an issue for you, here’s how you can calm it in just 90 seconds.
12. Have a code word with your partner
Come up with a phrase or emoji that signals, “I need to tap out.” (“Tapping out” works just fine, really.) It can cut down on passive-aggressive sighing and help you avoid full meltdowns.
13. Stop performing for the invisible audience
No one gets extra credit for doing it all and suffering silently. Challenge that voice in your head that says, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.” Who says it needs to be done right now? Who says it needs to be done at all?
14. Normalize talking about the hard stuff
Burnout thrives in silence. Talk about it with your partner, your friends, or your therapist. You might even consider mentioning it to your kids (in appropriate ways). You could say, “Mommy’s feeling really tired right now, so we’re having a quiet night.” This builds emotional intelligence and models self-awareness.
15. Practice saying no — like, a lot
Decline the extra playdate. Skip the party. “No” is a complete sentence. If you’re already running on empty, adding more will not magically make you feel more connected, productive, or liked. Protect your peace like it’s your job.
16. Remind yourself that this is a season, not a life sentence
Burnout can feel like forever, but it isn’t. Your capacity will come back. Joy will return. You’ll laugh freely again without wondering if something’s wrong with you. For now, take the next small step. That’s more than enough.
When mom burnout becomes a full-on crash
Sometimes, burnout doesn’t just feel like “I need a break.” Sometimes, it’s a total shutdown. You’re not just tired — you’re numb. You’re snapping constantly, crying in the bathroom, or fantasizing about disappearing. That’s not you being dramatic. That’s a full-on crash, and it’s more common than most moms admit.
Severe burnout can show up as:
Panic attacks or constant anxiety
Physical symptoms like migraines or exhaustion
Emotional detachment from your family
Deep resentment or urge to escape
A loss of identity
This isn’t the kind of burnout a bubble bath can fix. You might need time away, serious rest, therapy, or even medication — and that’s not a failure.
If this resonates with you, please ask for help. Talk to a doctor, a therapist, or a trusted friend. You don’t have to earn rest.
Mom burnout FAQs
How long does it take to recover from mom burnout?
Burnout is tough in part because there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline. Some moms start to feel better after making a few consistent changes — like getting better sleep, finding support, or setting clearer boundaries. (If prioritizing sleep is step one for you, here are 10 tips for a restful night.)
For others, recovery is slower and layered, especially if burnout has been building for years. Still, every small shift you make—every boundary, nap, no, or honest conversation—adds up. Recovery is less about checking a box and more about returning to yourself, little by little.
Is mom burnout the same as depression?
Burnout and depression can look very similar—exhaustion, irritability, disconnection, a general sense of “meh” about everything—but they’re not the same. Burnout is typically caused by chronic stress and overwhelm — like when you’re giving 110% every day with no recharge.
Depression, on the other hand, is a medical condition that can show up even without external stressors. If you’re unsure which you’re dealing with, a mental health professional can help sort it out. No matter what you’re dealing with, you deserve support.
How can I explain my mom burnout to my partner?
Start by naming what’s actually happening. Pick a quiet moment when you can talk calmly, and try saying something like: “I feel completely depleted. I’m running on fumes, and I need us to rebalance things because this isn’t sustainable.”
Be specific about what support would help — “I need you to handle bedtime three nights a week” is more actionable than “I need more help.” And if they don’t get it right away, don’t give up. Keep the conversation going. Burnout thrives in silence, and this is a chance to let them truly see you.
How do I support a mom with burnout?
To support a mom with burnout, start by showing up. Listen to her without trying to fix her. Ask what she needs — not what you think she needs. Offer specific help. Bring food. Send a funny meme. Remind her she’s not alone.
If you're her partner, step up without being asked. Burnout often happens when moms feel like the whole weight of the family is on their shoulders. Shift the load in real, tangible ways.
How do you prevent mom burnout?
Prevention is all about consistency, not perfection. That means building in daily moments of rest and joy, even if they’re tiny. Say “no” to things that drain you, even if it disappoints people.
Ask for help before you hit a wall. Stay connected to your identity outside of motherhood, even if it’s just through music, books, or one uninterrupted phone call with a friend.
Most of all, remember that your needs matter, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you shouldn’t be expected to.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
