7 mindful tips for finding balance as a working mom
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Juggling work and family isn’t easy. These 7 tips for finding balance as a working mom will help you navigate challenges with a little more ease and a little less stress.
Being a working mom can feel like starring in a never-ending circus act, except you’re simultaneously the ringmaster, the acrobat, and the person cleaning up after the animals. Most days, you probably wake up feeling behind and then spend the next several hours juggling meetings and tantrums, all before collapsing into your bed and wondering if you gave enough to your job, your family, and—oh yeah—yourself.
Our culture has told women that “balance” means splitting your time perfectly between work and home, all the while effortlessly keeping one million plates spinning. We’re encouraged to “do it all” — go for a big promotion, be a room parent, and meal-prep a week’s worth of organic lunches every Sunday. Of course, this just isn’t sustainable for most people. Some days, your job’s going to get more of you. On other days, your family does.
You’re just doing the best you can, and that’s okay. If you’re a working mom looking for a little more balance, there are a few things you can try to find some more peace amid the chaos.
Why being a working mother is hard
Being a working mom can be exhausting. After all, you have all the pressures and struggles of motherhood — and on top of that, you’re also managing a career.
So many women have to wake up early to answer emails, make their kids breakfast, and in some cases, get them off to school or daycare. Then they work a full day before starting their second shift of dinner, homework, and bath time. It’s nonstop, and there’s very little time, if any, for self-care.
Here are other issues that many working moms face:
The mental load is never-ending: Working moms are basically working two full-time jobs simultaneously. In addition to staying on top of their work, they’re also constantly tracking doctor’s appointments, school projects, and whether anyone in their house has socks that actually fit. The mental load is a lot, and it can feel all-consuming.
Guilt is constant: It’s so easy to feel like no matter what you do, you’re failing. Focused on work? You feel bad that you’re not spending more time with your kids. Spending time with your family? You may worry that you’re letting down your team. It’s a no-win situation.
There are never enough hours in the day: Between work, kids, and keeping the house from looking like a crime scene, there’s pretty much zero time for moms to take care of themselves. Plus, by the time moms finally do sit down, they're too tired to do anything other than scroll on their phone.
Burnout is constant: Moms are tired, but not just need-a-nap tired. The kind of tiredness they have is the kind where even fun things start to feel like just another thing on their to-do list. When life is a never-ending cycle of go-go-go, burnout is usually just a matter of time.
The world still isn’t built for working moms: Childcare costs are insane and most people don’t have flexible work schedules. Making matters more complicated, working moms also are usually still expected to be the default parent.
7 tips for finding balance as a working mom
“Doing it all” is a recipe for disaster for most people — and for working moms, it’s nearly impossible.
In reality, balance is about focusing on what matters most and letting the rest go. Here are a few things you can try.
1. Redefine what balance looks like
It’s not realistic to divide your time evenly between your work, family, and self-care. Sometimes, your job’s going to take priority, and other times, it’ll be your family.
Instead of worrying if you’re balancing everything perfectly, try to reframe it. Ask yourself, “Am I giving my energy to what matters most today?”
💙 Listen to Balance with Jay Shetty to help get you in the right frame of mind.
2. Set boundaries — and actually stick to them
It might feel uncomfortable to set boundaries, but when you do, you’re respecting your time and needs.
Work when you’re at work and be home when you’re at home. Try to shut your laptop at a set time every day, even if your to-do list isn’t done. When you’re at home, put your phone down during family time and say no to plans that drain you.
3. Let go of the guilt
As much as possible, remind yourself that you can be a great mom and have a career you love. Your kids don’t need more of you. They need you to be present when it counts. Quality matters more than quantity.
When guilt creeps in, tell yourself that you’re showing your kids what it looks like to follow your passions, work hard, and take care of yourself. This is a gift and not a failure.
💙 Listen to Learn To Let Go with Tamara Levitt if you’re holding onto guilt and having a hard time leaving it behind.
4. Make mornings less of a dumpster fire
If your mornings tend to feel like an Olympic sprint, some simple prep can help you stress less.
Consider picking out your kid’s clothes the night before, and maybe even yours too. You could also pack lunches, backpacks, and work bags ahead of time. (If you want to find more time in your day, here are 10 tips that can help you.)
5. Ask for help — and accept it without guilt
The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to do everything yourself. Outsource when you can, and if someone offers to help you, accept their offer.
Ask your partner for more help on specific tasks like packing the kids lunches during the week if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Also, if your workload is unsustainable at work, speak up. Ask for clarity on priorities, and push back on unrealistic deadlines. (If it’s hard for you to communicate your needs in a relationship, here are seven tips that can help.)
6. Find tiny moments of self-care
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. You don’t need a weekend retreat or a two-hour spa day. All you need to do is aim to use the time you already have in a different way that can also help to fill your cup up.
Be intentional about switching from work mode to mom mode. Listen to a podcast you love on your commute. Pick up a latte instead of a regular coffee if it feels more special. You deserve a little love now and then — and here are 20+ self-care practices you can try.
💙 Letting Go of the Day can help you transition mindfully from work to your personal time.
7. Connect with other working moms
Surround yourself with women who understand your circumstances and can reassure you that you’re not alone. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else is also hiding in their bathroom for five minutes of peace can make a world of difference and can make everything feel easier.
If you feel like you don’t have a mom support group right now, here are 10 ways that can help you cultivate and keep friends as an adult.
What working moms want you to know
If working moms had a group chat where they could spill the real truths, it would most likely sound something like this:
They’re doing their best, and no, they don’t need unsolicited advice. If moms had a dollar for every time someone told them to “just add a little more organization into your life” or “wake up a little earlier,” they could most likely collectively fund universal childcare. Trust that they’ve already thought of these options, and no, making a color-coded schedule is not the magic fix.
They wish workplaces were actually built for working parents. “Flexible schedules” should mean more than just getting side-eyed for leaving at 5 pm. Parent-friendly policies shouldn’t feel like asking for a favor.
They’re tired. Moms are exhausted, like bone-deep exhausted. They’re always being needed, always being responsible, and never really have a full break. Carrying the mental load of a whole household while also trying to crush it at work is incredibly and extremely tiring.
They love their kids fiercely, but they also value their careers. Many moms choose to work because they love what they do, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for them to be away from their family. They still feel pulled in both directions every day.
Sometimes working isn’t a choice. Kids are expensive, and many people have to work to be able to support them. Not everyone can stay home with their children, even if they want to.
If you’re looking for ways to support a working mom, a simple way you can help is to validate her and tell her that you see her and she’s doing amazing. And if you’re a working mom reading this, remind yourself that you don't need to “do more.” You just need more support.
Society has told you that it’s possible to do everything, but it’s not. Know that you’re already enough, you’re doing an incredible job, and you’re not alone in this.
Working moms FAQs
How can I stop feeling guilty as a working mom?
Many moms experience guilt for not always being available to their kids. If this sounds familar, try to remind yourself that feeling guilty just means you care.
Your kids don’t need a mom who’s with them 24/7. They need a mom who’s present when it matters. They also need to see that you’re taking care of yourself, following your passions, and setting boundaries, because that’s how they will learn to do the same. So when guilt creeps in, remind yourself: I’m teaching my kids what it means to be a whole, fulfilled person — and that’s a gift, not a failure.
How do I handle burnout as a working mom?
Burnout tends to sneak up on you, slowly draining your energy until even the smallest tasks feel overwhelming. If you’re constantly exhausted, snapping at your loved ones, or feeling numb, you might be facing burnout — and the fix is doing less.
Try to set firmer boundaries at work, delegate more tasks at home, and carve out even the tiniest bits of time for yourself wherever you can. After all, there’s no reward for being the most overworked, exhausted mom. If you’re currently feeling burnt out, ask for help. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.
What are good self-care ideas for working moms with no time?
Most working moms don’t have a lot of time for extravagant self-care practices. Here are some practical and quick ideas you could try that can help refill your tank:
Drink your coffee or tea while it’s actually hot instead of letting it sit for hours.
Take the longer route home from daycare to get even just five extra minutes of quiet.
Say no to things that drain you.
Take a few deep and mindful breaths after work but before you head home.
How can I ask for more support from my partner or workplace?
The first step is to recognize that asking for help is a power move. If you’re overwhelmed, you don’t need to just “push through.” You need backup.
Have a direct conversation with your partner about specific ways they can step up — because “I need help” is vague, but “Can you handle school drop-offs on Mondays and Wednesdays?” gets results.
To help at work, advocate for what you need. If you need a more flexible schedule or clearer boundaries around after-hours emails, ask for that. Your manager might say no, but you won’t know if you don’t ask.
Who is happier, stay-at-home moms or working moms?
Studies go back and forth on this, but typically the common denominator is that happiness doesn’t come from whether you work or stay home. It comes from having help, respect, and time to take care of yourself.
A working mom with a supportive partner, a workplace that values her, and time to recharge is usually way happier than a stay-at-home mom who’s doing everything alone, and vice versa. You have to find what works for you. Every mom—working or not—deserves to feel valued, rested, and supported.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
