Feeling sad on Mother’s Day? These 11 tips can help you cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Mother’s Day can come with some complicated feelings. Here are 11 tips to help you care for your mental health if Mother’s Day has you feeling sad, overwhelmed, or triggered.
Mother’s Day is a pretty complicated holiday for many people. Maybe you’re grieving the loss of a mother, a child, or a version of motherhood that never came to be. Maybe you have a painful relationship with your mom. Maybe you’re trying to become a parent and the process is taking longer than you thought it would. Or maybe, you are a mom and you’re bummed out by the way your family did—or didn’t—recognize you.
If you’re feeling sad on Mother’s Day, you’re not alone and you don’t need to fix anything today. You don’t need to feel grateful or make the best of it. You just need to get through it. Here’s how.
Why you might be feeling sad on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day can have a way of striking a nerve. It may seem like being spoiled by your kids or celebrating your mom is a universal experience, but really, a lot of people are just trying to survive the day.
Here are a few reasons why:
Grief: Whether you’ve lost your mom, a child, or someone who felt like a mother to you, Mother’s Day can make you grieve all over again.
Infertility or loss: If you’ve been trying to become a parent and have experienced infertility or pregnancy loss, this day can feel like a cruel reminder of what’s missing.
Complicated or painful relationships: Not everyone is close to their mom. Maybe you’re estranged, maybe your relationship was toxic, or maybe your mom just wasn’t who you needed her to be. There’s grief in that too.
Being unacknowledged: If you’re a stepmom, a foster parent, a mother figure, or a parent doing it all with zero fanfare, you may feel left out. This hurts, even if you try to shrug it off.
Not being where you thought you’d be: Maybe you imagined you’d have kids by now. Maybe you didn’t expect to be doing this alone. Maybe life just didn’t turn out the way you planned. The gap between expectation and reality can feel profound.
Mother’s Day can be a lot: The emotional whiplash of the day itself can be exhausting. You can feel grateful and heartbroken. You can miss your mom and be angry at her. You can love your kids and feel utterly depleted by motherhood. These emotions can coexist, even when it feels like they shouldn’t.
This day is hard for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons. Your experience is valid, even if it doesn’t fit neatly onto a greeting card.
How to protect your mental health on Mother’s Day: 11 mindful ways to care for yourself
Whether you’re grieving, upset, or just not in the mood to celebrate Mother’s Day, know that you have options. These tips can help you navigate the holiday with a little more ease.
1. Give yourself full permission to skip it
If Mother’s Day is difficult for you, you don’t have to celebrate it. You can treat it like a regular Sunday, or give yourself permission to sleep in, ignore texts, and binge-watch reality TV. Do what feels best for you.
Try this: Tell your people ahead of time if you’re unplugging. You may also consider explaining to a close friend what’s going on, so that they know to check on you.
2. Plan ahead for emotional triggers
You know your patterns. If being in a crowded restaurant filled with happy families celebrating Mother’s Day is going to upset you, don’t go. If family gatherings or phone calls feel like too much, give yourself an out. Emotional triggers are easier to navigate when you know they’re coming.
Try this: Make an escape plan for any social events you’re expected to attend. Decide on a time limit, enlist a buddy who can help you leave early, or schedule another obligation so you can slip out gracefully.
3. Curate your social media space like your peace depends on it (because it does)
The highlight reel hits harder on days like this. Scroll with caution. You’re not weak for feeling triggered by filtered family tributes — those posts aren’t telling the full story anyway. If the feed makes your chest tighten, it’s okay to step away. Or better yet, tailor it to show you only what feels kind.
Try this: Use the mute button liberally. Set a time limit for apps. Or, better yet, delete them. You can always replace that time with a playlist, podcast, or actual silence — whatever your nervous system needs.
4. Redefine what this day means to you
You don’t have to mark Mother’s Day in the traditional way. Maybe you honor a mentor, a best friend, your therapist, your inner child. Maybe you make space to mother yourself — especially if no one else ever really did.
Try this: Light a candle, write a letter you’ll never send, cook a comforting meal, or do something that’s just for you. It can be as simple as buying yourself flowers without pretending they came from anyone else. Need more inspiration? Try one of these 20 self-care practices.
5. Let yourself grieve — without the need to fix it
Grief shows up in unexpected ways. It might be overwhelming, or more of a dull pain. Maybe it’s strangely absent until a TV ad unexpectedly brings you to tears. Whatever form it takes, don’t rush it. Just let it be.
Try this: Create a small ritual that holds space for your grief. That could be journaling, lighting a candle, looking at old photos, crying in the shower, or just laying under a weighted blanket until it passes.
💙 Grief can ebb and flow. Lama Rod Owens’ Caring for Your Grief series can help you navigate the journey.
6. Connect with someone who gets it
Few things are as comforting as talking to someone who understands how you’re feeling. Whoever your person is, reach out. And if you’re trying to help a grieving friend, keep these five tips for how to support them in mind.
Try this: Start with a simple, “Hey, just checking in. Today’s a tough one.” You don’t have to go deep unless you want to. Just being seen is sometimes enough to feel a little steadier.
7. Lower the bar on literally everything
Today is really just about survival. You don't need to be productive. If your to-do list includes only “eat something” and “get some rest,” that’s valid.
Try this: Eat cereal for dinner. Wear pajamas all day. Turn your phone off. Skip the call with your emotionally draining cousin. Whatever helps you do less today, do that.
8. Create a quiet ritual (or a loud one, if that’s your thing)
Your ritual can be anything that helps you feel grounded. Whether it’s making tea and reading, blasting music and dancing, or taking a walk with your favorite podcast — choose something that marks the day on your terms.
Try this: Try a “reverse celebration.” Instead of honoring someone else, honor your own strength. Write down what you’ve survived. That matters too.
9. Take care of your body (even a little bit)
Emotional pain lives in the body, so take care of it. Stretch. Hydrate. Breathe deeper than usual. Give your body signals that it’s safe.
Try this: If you can’t do much, try one of these:
Step outside for two minutes and notice the sky.
Eat something with protein, even if it’s just a boiled egg or peanut butter on a spoon.
Put a cold washcloth on your face. (It’s a nervous system reset.)
10. Try a grounding practice for when it all feels too much
Overwhelm is part of the deal on a day like this. If your emotions feel too big, grounding techniques help bring you back to your body.
Try this: The 5-4-3-2-1 technique can be a big help. Get present by naming:
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
Or, place both feet flat on the ground, inhale deeply, and exhale slowly. Repeat until the spinning slows — even just a little.
💙 If moving your body feels better than standing still, try Mel Mah’s Grounding practice.
11. Remember, this is just one day
Mother’s Day feels bigger, louder, heavier because of what it stirs up, but it’s still just one day. You’ve survived worse.
Try this: Make a plan for how you’ll treat yourself the day after. Book a massage. Plan a coffee with a friend. Line up your favorite comfort show. Give yourself something to look forward to on the other side.
Sad on Mother's Day FAQs
Is it normal to feel sad on Mother’s Day?
Feeling sad on Mother’s Day might be one of the most normal things in the world — people just don’t talk about it enough. This day brings up loss, longing, resentment, loneliness, and unmet expectations. It can unearth grief you thought you buried and poke at wounds that never fully healed.
So if your heart feels heavy while everyone else seems to be sipping mimosas, know that you’re not broken and your sadness is valid.
How can I support someone who feels sad on Mother’s Day?
Start by not trying to fix it. What helps the most is simply being present. Send a message that says, “Thinking of you today. I know this day can be hard.” Let them take the lead. Maybe they want to talk, or maybe they just need a little room to breathe. Either way, showing up with care makes a big difference.
What if I don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day at all?
Opting out of Mother’s Day is a legitimate form of self-care. If it feels painful, performative, or just plain off this year (or every year), you have every right to ignore it completely.
That might look like staying off social media, declining invites, or treating the day like any other Sunday. You can live by your own rules.
How do I handle social media on Mother’s Day?
If social media is going to upset you on Mother’s Day, take a break. Log off, mute accounts, set screen time limits, or curate your feed in a way that feels gentler. Protecting your peace is important.
How do I deal with disappointment on Mother’s Day?
Disappointment can sneak up in so many forms. Maybe your partner forgot, your kids barely acknowledged you, or the day just didn’t feel how you hoped it would. It’s okay to admit that you’re upset.
Let yourself feel disappointed without immediately trying to “reframe” it. Name it. Sit with it. And then, when you’re ready, do something small and kind for yourself because you deserve care, too.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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