How stress can impact breastfeeding (and 7 tips to feel calmer)
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Breastfeeding can be so stressful. Explore the impact this stress can have on your milk supply and get 7 tips to find a bit more calm during this vulnerable time.
Becoming a parent is overwhelming, and in many cases, breastfeeding is one of the main reasons why. Somewhere between the pressure to “exclusively breastfeed,” the nipple pain, and the fear that your baby isn’t eating enough, nursing can feel all-consuming. And because life is cruelly ironic, stress itself can impact breastfeeding, making an already difficult situation even harder.
If you’re worried that your stress is affecting your milk supply, you’re not alone. Many parents spiral into the “stress about stress” cycle, wondering if their anxiety is tanking their supply and making everything worse. The good news? This is not a catastrophic situation, and there are a few simple ways you can manage it.
Why is breastfeeding so stressful?
For something that’s supposedly “natural,” breastfeeding sure comes with a lot of pressure. From the moment you give birth (and sometimes even before), you’re bombarded with messages that breastfeeding is the best, the only, the most bonding, the most beneficial thing you can do for your baby. No pressure, right?
But here’s what those messages leave out: Breastfeeding is a learning process for both you and your baby. It doesn’t always “just happen.” It can be painful, exhausting, and downright frustrating. And because the world loves to make new moms second-guess themselves, every little hiccup can feel like proof that you’re doing it wrong.
10 causes of breastfeeding stress
Like anything new, breastfeeding comes with challenges and frustrations. Here are a few reasons why it can be so stressful:
1. The learning curve is steep: Babies are born with a sucking reflex, but they may not know how to latch correctly (and you might not know how to correct them).
2. The pressure is intense: The “breast is best” messaging can turn every feeding into a high-stakes event, making stress and guilt unavoidable when things don’t go smoothly.
3. Sleep deprivation amplifies everything: Sleep deprivation makes everything harder. It’s tough to troubleshoot latching issues when you’re so exhausted you can’t remember the last time you ate.
4. Hormones are doing their thing: One minute, you’re swooning over your baby’s eyelashes, the next, you’re enraged because you can’t find your water bottle. Postpartum hormones make everything feel bigger.
5. Pain or discomfort can be debilitating: No one warns you how much breastfeeding can hurt. Engorgement, chapped nipples, clogged ducts — sometimes it’s less “magical bonding” and more “grit your teeth and get through it.”
6. You’re constantly wondering if your baby is getting enough: Unlike a bottle, your breasts don’t come with measurement lines. Wondering if your baby is getting enough milk? Join the club.
7. Everyone has an opinion: Well-meaning family, friends, and strangers all have thoughts about how you should be feeding your baby, and sometimes, they just make you want to scream.
8. It can feel all-consuming: Breastfeeding is not just a quick, occasional task. When you have a newborn, you’re doing it every three hours or so. The tediousness can be a lot.
9. It can feel like all you do: In those early weeks, feeding, burping, and changing diapers feels like an endless loop, and in addition to being exhausting, it can also leave you feeling totally touched-out.
10. Medical challenges can make things even harder: If your baby was preterm, in the NICU, or struggling to latch, breastfeeding can feel even more stressful. If this is you, please know, you’re doing an incredible job
Does stress reduce milk supply?
So, you’re stressed about breastfeeding… and now you’re stressed about the stress itself. Is this stress making your milk dry up? What if anxiety is stopping your body from doing what it’s supposed to do?
First, take a deep breath. The good news is, short-term stress won’t suddenly make your milk disappear. Your body is resilient, and milk production doesn’t vanish overnight just because you had a rough day (or week). And if you need help relieving stress quickly, here are some ways to do it in 10 minutes or less.
Still, stress can impact your breastfeeding experience in a few ways:
Stress can delay letdown: Your milk flows thanks to oxytocin, the hormone that triggers your letdown reflex. But stress shifts your body into fight-or-flight mode, possibly ramping up cortisol and adrenaline — which can interfere with oxytocin. That means your milk might take longer to let down or flow more slowly.
Chronic stress may contribute to lower milk production:
Everyday stress? No big deal. But long-term, high stress can have an effect by:
Reducing prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production
Draining your energy and hydration levels (which indirectly affect supply)
Leading to skipped or shortened feedings, which signals your body to make less milk
This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s why supporting yourself is just as important as feeding your baby.
Stress can also make breastfeeding feel harder than it is: When you’re stressed, everything feels harder. The mental load alone can be exhausting (and here are 10 tips to help with that).
If you’re overwhelmed, you might be more likely to cut feedings short or switch to a bottle — not because you want to, but because you’re just too drained to keep going. That’s completely valid. But if your goal is to continue breastfeeding, managing stress becomes just as important as hydration, nutrition, and frequency of feeds.
The bottom line? Stress won’t instantly stop milk production, but taking care of yourself is important too.
How to lower breastfeeding stress: 7 tips to find more calm
Obviously, breastfeeding can be stressful, and yes, stress can impact your experience. But here’s the good news: You have more control here than you think.
Even when you’re running on two hours of sleep and questioning everything, there are simple ways to make breastfeeding feel less overwhelming.
1. Prioritize skin-to-skin contact
This is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to help both you and your baby relax. Holding your baby close releases oxytocin — the same hormone that triggers milk letdown and helps reduce stress.
Try this:
Spend a few minutes with your baby snuggled against your bare chest before nursing.
If latching has been stressful, take a step back and try feeding skin-to-skin in a reclined or laid-back position.
Even if you’re bottle-feeding or pumping, skin-to-skin cuddles can still help regulate your baby’s nervous system and yours.
2. Create a calming environment
If every feeding feels rushed, chaotic, or stressful, it’s no wonder your body is on high alert. A few small shifts in your environment can make feedings feel more peaceful.
Try this:
Dim the lights or play soft music (or white noise, if that’s more your vibe).
Pick a comfy spot where you can sit back, relax, and focus on your baby.
If possible, minimize distractions — set your phone down, turn off the TV, and just be present with your little one.
It’s not about making feedings perfect, just a little more soothing for both of you.
💙 You matter. Feeding Baby, Nourishing Yourself is a beautiful meditation to listen to while you’re nursing your baby.
3. Practice mindful breathing or relaxation techniques
Your mind might be racing a mile a minute during feedings, but grounding yourself in the moment can work wonders.
Try this:
Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold for a second, and exhale slowly. Repeat a few times before or during a feeding. (Here are a few other breathing exercises you can try too.)
Imagine a gentle wave rolling in as you inhale and rolling out as you exhale. As a bonus, rhythmic breathing can actually encourage milk letdown!
Try progressive muscle relaxation — soften your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and let your body settle.
Even one intentional breath can help shift your nervous system from stress mode to relaxation mode.
💙 Postpartum is a wild rollercoaster. Kate Johnson’s Breathwork for Postpartum Anxiety can help get you through your tough times.
4. Set realistic expectations (and let go of perfectionism)
Let’s get this out of the way right now: There is no such thing as “perfect” breastfeeding. Some feeds will be smooth, while others will be frustrating, and that’s completely normal.
Try this:
Remind yourself that every breastfeeding journey looks different — there’s no one “right” way to do this.
Look at this as an opportunity to get to know your baby. You two are learning together.
If today is tough, tomorrow is a fresh start. Give yourself grace.
5. Lean on your support system
You don’t have to do this alone. Breastfeeding can feel isolating, but support—whether emotional or practical—can make a huge difference.
Try this:
Let your partner, family, or friends help with non-feeding tasks (diaper changes, burping, laundry, meal prep) to help lighten your mental load.
Join a local or online breastfeeding support group — it helps to hear from other parents who get it.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to a lactation consultant. Sometimes a small adjustment can make a big difference in your comfort and confidence.
6. Stay nourished and hydrated
Feeding a newborn takes a lot of energy. Skipping meals, forgetting to drink water, or running on coffee alone can leave you feeling drained, physically and emotionally.
Try this:
Keep a water bottle nearby during every feeding session. (Seriously, thirst hits hard when you start nursing).
Have easy, one-handed snacks ready — nuts, cheese, fruit, or protein bars are great options.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help with meals. Whether it’s your partner cooking or a friend dropping off takeout, you need to eat.
7. Release the pressure (fed is best, always)
At the end of the day, the goal is to feed your baby, whether that’s through breastfeeding, pumping, formula, or a combination of all three. The most important thing is that your baby is fed, and that you’re taking care of yourself, too. We promise in a few years, you won’t even consider how your baby was fed.
Try this:
If supplementing with formula or pumped milk reduces your stress, do it.
If you need a break, it’s okay to pump or let someone else take a feeding.
If breastfeeding isn’t working out the way you hoped, it’s okay to pivot. You’re not a failure or a quitter.
There’s no one “right” way to feed your baby. Do what’s best for you.
Breastfeeding stress FAQs
Can stress affect a baby through breast milk?
Yes, stress can have some impact, but it’s usually temporary and manageable. When you’re highly stressed, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline, which can show up in your milk. Some studies suggest babies might pick up on these changes — maybe they’re a little fussier or more wakeful.
But before you stress about stress (see how sneaky it is?), remember this: Your milk is still incredible. It’s packed with antibodies, nutrients, and comfort — everything your baby needs to thrive.
If your baby seems unsettled after a stressful day, try calming yourself first. Deep breaths, skin-to-skin contact, or a short break before feeding can help. And if stress feels overwhelming, reach out for support. You don’t have to do this alone.
Your baby doesn’t need a perfectly calm parent. They just need you.
What are the best relaxation techniques for nursing mothers?
Breastfeeding isn’t just physical, it’s a full-body experience, mentally and emotionally. Relaxing can help both you and your baby feel more at ease.
Deep breathing is a simple place to start. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a second, then exhale softly. This tells your body it’s safe to relax, encouraging letdown. You can also try progressive muscle relaxation — as you nurse, consciously release tension in your shoulders, jaw, and hands.
If your mind is racing, a guided meditation or calming playlist can help shift your focus. And if you feel tense at the start of a feed, try skin-to-skin contact. It boosts oxytocin, which helps with both milk flow and relaxation.
The key is to give yourself permission to slow down. Feeding your baby is important, but so is your mental health.
Can breastfeeding stress contribute to postpartum depression?
Yes, breastfeeding challenges—pain, latch issues, supply worries, sheer exhaustion—can sometimes play a role in postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety (PPA). When feeding isn’t going as planned, it’s easy to feel frustrated, guilty, or even isolated.
But here’s what you need to know: You are not failing, and you are not alone. Many parents struggle with these emotions, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you’re feeling persistently anxious, hopeless, or emotionally drained—especially beyond the usual new-parent stress—ask for help. A doctor, therapist, or postpartum support group can give you the support you need.
Your mental health matters just as much as your baby’s wellbeing. No matter how you feed your baby, you are exactly the parent they need.
How does diet impact breastfeeding and stress levels?
What you eat affects both milk production and how you feel while nursing. Staying nourished and hydrated supports your energy, mood, and overall well-being — because, let’s be real, taking care of a baby is exhausting.
Aim for balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and complex carbs — think eggs, nuts, avocados, whole grains, and leafy greens. Omega-3s (like salmon or flaxseeds) may help with mood and brain function. And drink water! Breastfeeding can make you extra thirsty, so keeping a water bottle nearby is a game-changer.
That said, there’s no perfect breastfeeding diet. If some days are just granola bars and cold coffee, that’s okay. The goal is to fuel your body when you can.
What role does partner or family support play in reducing breastfeeding stress?
A huge one. While only you can breastfeed, having a supportive partner, friend, or family member can make it so much more manageable.
Support can be practical (bringing water, burping the baby, handling diaper changes) or emotional (listening, reassuring you, reminding you to take a break). Both matter.
If you’re struggling, ask for what you need. You deserve care and support.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
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