Mom Mood: ENRAGED
See also: full of rage, boiling over with silent screams, resentful
Let’s start with the obvious: You love your kids. We know you love your kids. But if you find yourself about to snap because you're entering hour two of the bedtime routine, you stepped on yet another Lego they didn't pick up, or your kids are engaging in any of the other infuriating things kids do… you're not alone.
No matter how patient you are, everyone has their breaking point — and kids are great at pushing you to it. If you just lost it with your family (or you’re about to), we see you, we’ve been there too, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed. You’re not a bad mom because you blew up over spilled juice. Everyone has their own version of this.
And while we’re all for deep breathing and meditation to calm down, we also know that sometimes you just need to let it all out.
💜 KNOW THIS
“Sometimes anger is a response to deeper emotions that need attention. Maybe you’re exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed. You’re not a bad mom for feeling this way.
“When you feel rage rise, pause. Take a deep breath. Step away. Ask yourself what you’re feeling underneath the anger. Once you’ve cooled the anger, try tackling the underlying need.
“Parenthood is hard, and it’s okay to have moments where you need to reset. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”
— Dr. Diana E. Ramos (California Surgeon General)
💜 TRY THIS
A little creativity can turn almost anything into an outlet for your anger. The key is to blow off steam in a low-key way, such as screaming in your car, punching a pillow, or pushing all your weight against a wall. Then do a quick reset. Take a few breaths or do a grounding exercise before you go back to your kids.
💜 LISTEN TO THIS
This free session with Yuliya Patsay offers practical tools to help you understand and manage mom rage so you can respond with more clarity and compassion in the heat of parenting moments.
*Defusing “Mom Rage” was originally created for Calm Health as part of the Support for Mothers & Caregivers program, in collaboration with psychologist Dr. Juli Fraga. Calm Health is an evidence-based mental health app for payers, providers and employers; this exclusive content has been made available to you to celebrate and support all moms. Please note this content isn’t available in the Calm app.
For more support, download Calm to listen to the additional two sessions below.
Today’s session offers you space to feel anger through strong punches and breathing techniques.
Simple tools to support your mental and emotional well-being as you navigate the whirlwind of parenting.
💜 READ THIS
11 ways to deal with mom rage without the shame spiral
Struggling with mom rage doesn’t make you a bad parent. Learn what it is and get 11 tips to help you deal, including gentle ways to reconnect with your kids after you yell.
Yes, postpartum rage is real. Here’s how to cope.
You’re not imagining it — some of us feel especially angry after having a baby. Learn the causes and symptoms of postpartum rage and get 10 tips to feel better.
How to deal with frustration: 6 ways to cope with stress
We all feel emotionally frustrated at times. Learn the causes of frustration and what to do when you're feeling frustrated with 6 coping skills and strategies.
How to calm anger quickly: 13 anger management steps
Reframe your relationship with anger and learn to manage it with our mental health tips and mindful techniques, including deep breathing and relaxation.
How to *actually* feel your feelings: a guide to processing your emotions
Most of us know that feeling our feelings is important, but we don’t know why and we especially don’t know how. Here’s your guide to re-relating to—and actually processing—your emotions.
Rage with us this Mother’s Day
This May, moms rage free. On Mother’s Day, skip the brunch, grab a mom friend, and let it go, together.
Calm is offering a limited number of free rage room bookings across the U.S. for our Not Calm Moms throughout the month of May. Book a free session and smash some sh*t. Because sometimes, the best release isn’t a deep breath, it’s breaking stuff with moms who get it.
And don’t worry, your child’s adorable macaroni art project (and related mess) will still be waiting for you when you get home.
Reserve your spot here. We have free experiences available in NYC, LA, Minneapolis, Nashville, Miami, Denver, Seattle, and Houston. Can’t join? No problem. Scroll down and find out how to DIY your very own rage room!
Check out a sneak peak below!
The importance of clean anger
You may have grown up thinking anger was “bad” — but it’s not.
Like all emotions, anger is just information. It shows up to alert you if something’s off or when someone crosses a boundary, but you do need to harness it in a safe way.
Healthy anger starts with owning the feeling (and not letting it own you). Pause. Breathe. Figure out what’s bothering you, and focus on solving the problem, not attacking the person who made a mistake.
After a while, you’ll find that anger loses its edge when it’s honest and respectful. Why? Well, not all fire is destructive — some of it lights the way.
How to release mom rage safely in 3 satisfying steps
Everyone needs a release now and then — and when deep breaths aren’t cutting it, a little creativity can turn almost anything into an outlet. Here’s your three-step plan to feeling better fast.
Step 1: Cue up our Not Calm Moms Rage Room Playlist
Step 2: Choose your own rage adventure
The key is to blow off steam in a low-key way that doesn’t send your children into a panic. Here are a few easy ways to let the pressure out.
Punch the daylights out of your pillows
Scream it out in your car (extra vibes at a drive-thru car wash)
Take a hammer to a bag of ice (in a safe location with eye protection on)
Push all your weight against a wall
Hit your favorite resistance training machine at the gym (or just go for a run around the block)
Dig up a garden bed with a hoe and really put your weight into it
Throw ice cubes into your bathtub or against your shower wall
Write out all your frustrations on paper and then rip them up
Whack the dirt and dust out of your rugs with a broom
Step 3: Reset and resume your day
Once you’re feeling raged-out, do a quick reset. You might consider taking a few deep breaths, doing a grounding exercise (here’s a quick one we love), or maybe even a body scan. No matter what you choose, taking a moment to regroup can make all the difference in how you show up for family and yourself.
Other Mom Moods
A mindful note on the focus on “moms”
Not Calm Moms focuses on maternal mental health because moms disproportionately carry the mental load—but that doesn’t mean we’re leaving others out.
While this initiative is designed for moms, Calm offers a range of resources that support all caregivers. Partners, co-parents, and support systems play a critical role, and we encourage everyone to be part of the conversation. And when we use the term "mom," we're addressing anyone who identifies as a mom.
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